KLJ

Dearest Kelsey,

It’s taken me a while to write this letter. I’m not even quite sure where to begin.

The more time I spend in this amazing place, the more I realize that this trip has been bringing me closer to you. You would have loved all of the adventures I’ve gone on. The cheetahs especially, but more than that. You would have loved Africa, at least what I’ve experienced of it. I want to show you so many things here.

There are so many bugs here, big exotic ones. I saw a massive four or five inch caterpillar the other day. It was definitely a Kelsey kind of caterpillar. I’d never seen one quite so big before. I wish you were there. That was the same day I went to see the cheetahs, which I did for you. They were beautiful. Big and majestic. Just like you. I felt you next to me that day. Sitting in there with Enigma. Were you petting him, too? I hope so.

You were the kind of girl that held a special place in her heart for all things wild, and I think you would have been a woman with a passion for the beauty of wildlife. I’m certain you and I would have shared a passion for Africa, and the more I ruminate on that, the more assured of it I grow. There is an entirely different life force here that has wrapped around me like a comforting blanket, and I can sense that it would have been the right fit for you too.

I knew this trip would be a lot of things for me. I also knew that I couldn’t know what those things were until they happened. It’s turned out that it has become a time for me to learn about different outlooks on life. I’ve had a chance to exist in a slower pace. I’ve learned about who I am as a friend and the strength I possess as a woman. But one of the things I never expected was to feel you here so strongly. You are almost everywhere I go here.

I’m still unpacking what that means. Was that part of why I was pulled here? What am I supposed to learn from this; from your presence here? Am I getting to know you better? Am I preparing to finally let go? Why are we here together? Did I bring you here or did I find you here?

I think you are a big reason why I am reluctant to leave. I’ve felt closer to you here than I have ever before. I’m afraid to lose that. I’m afraid to lose the new relationship I’ve built with you. But I’m also afraid that I’m supposed to leave you here. You belong here, Kelsey.

I love you and it breaks my heart every day that you were taken away. But I really hope that you’ve found peace.

Goodnight, my Angel, now it’s time to sleep.
Always, Sam