How to Get Your Butt Kicked by a Mountain

I am seriously losing my game of Sam v. Africa.

Table Mountain, or Tafelberg, is a relentless, oddly-shaped fortress of rock that will crush you like the slowest gazelle in the herd if you don't come prepared with a six pack (not the beer) and your big-kid pants.

I was aware that the trail up was difficult, but no one informed me that it was the most difficult climb on the mountain. Gee, thanks Interstudy! You guys ROCK.

Platteklip Gorge is the way we (or, I should say, most of us) got up the mountain. It's extremely steep, you're more climbing the mountain than hiking it. It's 2 hours of straight uphill, and 30 minutes in, my knees were threatening to pop off and bludgeon me to death, so I hiked back down and over the the cable car. From there, it was a short 4 minute ride up the mountain. It felt like a cop-out and I was embarrassed that I couldn't make it. However, I didn't miss the bulk of the hike.

The view from the top is astonishing. You can see the arm that reaches out to Cape Point disappearing into the sky and sea. The ocean goes out so far that it touches the clouds. All of Cape Town, Kirstenbosch, countless small towns, and beyond is visible. You can see Robben Island (see first two photos) and it's absolutely gorgeous. This place is absolutely stunning. I could have just sat there and looked out for hours.

After lunch on the top, we walked all the way across the table to the other side of the top to the highest point in Cape Town. From there, we started our trek down. Along the way, we came across a few lizards, a trio of dams (and some lakes to go with), other hikers, and a barrage of awkwardly-shapen rocks to dance around. The hike down took about 4 hours, but it was wonderful.

Today, my body is recounting the tale to me with every move I make. I'm sore from head to toe. I'm even sore in muscles I was unaware that I had. I'm absolutely not joking when I say this hike, even accounting for the part that I missed, is not to be taken lightly. I have a sunburn across the back of my neck and my shoulders and arms (I put sunscreen on, just not enough, apparently). But I'd say that the whole trip was worth it.

And I would like to say, for the record, that I am planning a rematch against dear ol' Tafelberg. I'm going back when I don't have a group to slow down and I am going to conquer Platteklip Gorge. I am determined. If it weren't for the time-constraint, I could have made it yesterday.

I will beat you, Platteklip. Just you wait.